I just barfed. This candle from Barneys costs $375.

I thought the price of this candle was the most ridiculous thing about it. And then I read the product description:

"A wind of freedom coming all at once from the Mascara coast and down from the mountains bringing in its foolish race the green scents of fresh mint, the rashness of fights, the hot and peppered air of ginger and the perfume of tea and tobacco from the Ouled Nail tribe. Top notes of spearmint, lemon-yellow, black currant bud, apple, ginger and clove, heart notes of jasmine and base notes of vanilla. This vegetable-based wax candle with pure cotton wick is biodegradable, allergen free and contains no pesticides. Housed within a beautiful glass vessel."

What is this, The Sims homeware catalog? There are so many things wrong with the first sentence in that paragraph. What the hell does the "rashness of fights" have to do with perfume, or the "wind of freedom" or its "foolish race"? Why is a wind of freedom racing foolishly anyway? And I Googled "Mascara coast." I don't think it even exists! The most worthless product description ever.

And why does this pillow, with embroidery of a tiny dog and tree on the back of it, cost $550? Barneys is so stupid.

Comments

[EMillz]

Well, I'm sure that candle will appreciate in value through the years....

[Mr. Moneybags]

You're clearly paying for the twelve distinct aromas contained within this candle! Mint, ginger, tea, tobacco, spearmint, lemon-yellow, black currant bud, apple, ginger, clove, jasmine, AND vanilla? Well worth the money.